12 lbs down....LOTS more to go

In my quest to free myself from this prison I have trapped myself in I am learning more about myself then I ever knew existed. I am not the sum of my parts, I am a whole person. One thing links to another and so on. Who would have ever guessed that losing a few pounds would open my eyes to long forgotten memories and suppressed feelings from my childhood. I wouldn't have, that's for sure. But what I can tell you is that this is going to be better for my soul then my body.

12 lbs down....LOTS more to go

In my quest to free myself from this prison I have trapped myself in I am learning more about myself then I ever knew existed. I am not the sum of my parts, I am a whole person. One thing links to another and so on. Who would have ever guessed that losing a few pounds would open my eyes to long forgotten memories and suppressed feelings from my childhood. I wouldn't have, that's for sure. But what I can tell you is that this is going to be better for my soul then my body.

Here you see it . . . the last picture I have of myself that I like enough to give out. This picture was taken in June of 2002. This point is my first goal. I'll let you know when I'm there . . .

On the bright side, I haven't had a french fry or a burger or Taco Bell since January 1st - 12 days - and I honestly don't really feel like I miss them too awfully much. It's amazing, but there seems to be an answer out there for almost any funky food craving now days. Want chocolate or ice cream? There are several good sugar free and trans fat free varieties out there. Want Taco Bell style chalupas? I found low fat (trans fat free) sour creme and cheese at the store along with wheat tortillas. Take that and add some shredded lettuce, chicken pieces, and salsa and Voila!

Good things come to those who wait and those who PERSEVERE!

FABULOSO FRIDAY!!

DUDE....I HAVE HAD A FABULOSO OF A DAY.....

THIS MORNING I WAS A LITTLE DISCOURAGED..I MEAN..MY SUGAR COUNT WAS 189..I WANTED TO CRY...THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS GO BACK ON THE MED. BUT...WHEN I CHECKED IT BEFORE LUNCH...IT WAS 119......I WENT TO WALK DURING MY AFTERNOON BREAK AND WAS FEELING A LITTLE WIERD...BY THE TIME I GOT HOME..MY BLOOD SUGAR HAD DROPPED DOWN TO 98...WHICH IS LOW FOR A GIRL WHO'S AVERAGE JUST A COUPLE WEEKS AGO WAS 350. I FELT LIKE A GIRL W/ A.D.D. I COULDNT CONCENTRATE WORTH CRAP..I WAS LIGHT HEADED AND FELT VERY DISORIENTED...IT WAS BAD..BUT AT THE SAME TIME GOOD...I MEAN...MY SUGAR WAS COMPLETELY NORMAL...IT FELT GOOD EVEN THOUGH I FELT BAD...ROFL! ANYWAY...I KNOW THAT I CAN DO THIS...I AM IN CONTROL OF THIS BODY AND IT'S SUCH A GOOD FEELING....

Why Vending Machines Are Like Jails

While on my lunch break today, I was staring at the enemy in the vending machine, and I got to thinking, vending machines bear a great similarity to jails. Why you ask? Well, lets think about jail. Generally speaking, jails hold people who have done something considered ‘bad’. How did that person get there? They are believed to have committed a crime. They were captured by the cops. They were transported to jail. They were processed and placed in a holding cell. They sat there for awhile, then someone paid some amount of money to bail them out and set them free.

Lets think about vending machines. The snack food is made, loaded with trans fats and sugar. Not that everyone in jail is ‘the enemy’, but for the rest of this post, snack food will hereby be referred to as ‘the enemy/enemies’. The vending machine guy captures the enemies and transports them to the vending machine. He opens it with a key and places the enemies inside the snack machine in their individual holding spots. Someone comes along that likes them and pays some amount of money to ‘bail’ them out of the snack machine. Just like jail, an innocent food gets placed in there with the bad ones every now and then (poor harmless animal crackers =< ) they have to make bail to be released. Luckily, most people who get put in jail don’t get eaten when they get out. LOL Anyways, maybe I don’t make sense, but the analogy helped me to say no to the enemies staring back at me from behind bars today in the break room!

See the Emme, Be the Emme

We were talking the other day about how you have to visualize a goal in order to reach it. So i decided that my goal was to be like Emme Aronson - Plus Size Supermodel extrodinaire. She is such an inspiration!

Speaking of inspiration...do you see this picture? I HATE taking pictures, I never like them, but I love this picture. It is the 1st time in a very long time that I smiled - really smiled. Out there in that water I was having so much fun. How could I not smile. Well, that's all for now. Work to do, lol.

WHEN THE SKINNY BITCH IS FREE....SHE'S FREE INDEED!!!!!!!
okay...had to get that out of my system...
Lauren signing off!
lol